Is There A Barber In The House?

Back in the early 50"s, my Dad reinlisted in the ARMY. He was sure he'd get to go to Korea, especially since he was an MP. However, like WWII, he remained stateside.
Inspection would be bright and early on Monday morning. He hadn't gotten a haircut over the weekend and wouldn't have time before inspection. He told my Mom to cut his hair, My Mom asked him if he was crazy or if he just wanted to get in trouble. He insisted, so my Mom, being the ever obedient wife, did as he said. Unfortunately, she had never cut hair before.It started out ok, but as she went along, it became very crooked. While trying to even it up, she nicked him with the scissors. He yelled, she jumped, her hand went one way and the scissors went the other taking a chunk out of not only his hair but scalp as well. My Mom was horrified and started to cry. He wouldn't let her stop, so between his yelling and her tears, his head was a sight to see. She tried to even it up by cutting the other side to match, nicking it as she went. Each time she got him with the scissors, he'd yell and she'd cry harder. The harder she tried the worse it got. Needless to say after several times of trying to even it up, he had a few tufts of hair left, along with some cuts and holes. She even snipped the top of his ear.
At inspection he was pulled out of line and told to remove his cover. His CO walked slowly around him, shaking his head and said "Fisher, the next time your wife cuts your hair better be AFTER you're discharged."

Darlene DeVore
Young Harris, GA